tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
