my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Randomize
