So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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