Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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