My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
