So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
she told me i tasted like america
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
