Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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