Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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