Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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