She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
