Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
We need a shit load of segways right now
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
