he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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