found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
