You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
