he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
