I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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