You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
