She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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