NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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