Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
