On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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