i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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