Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
