Well douche your snatch and let's go!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
