So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
