my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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