a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize