That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
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I threw up into my coffee this morning.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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