I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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