best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
