I'm going to jail i love you
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
