That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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