walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
