Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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