first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
