I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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