haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
