Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
