the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
