Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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