He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
