I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
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she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
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pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.