i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
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Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
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they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim