just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize