my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Randomize