no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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