i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
