Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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