After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
When are your genitals available?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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