you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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