spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
