dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
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you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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