they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just want to make out with him forever
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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