Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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