That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
