So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
