So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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