at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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