he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
