What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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