The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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