I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
