WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
this just has baby written all over it
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Randomize
