Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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