2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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