just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
the liver wants what the liver wants
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
